The Gift of Our Generation
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Not long ago, I was in a tight spot with money. This happens from time to time as an entrepreneur and almost anyone for that matter. For me, when I get into this kind of anxiety that somehow I am going to ignite in flames, I have ruined my life, or soon everyone is going to discover I am a fraud and in a few short weeks, I will find myself living in a van down by the river. There is this overwhelming sense of perfectionism that I experience in this. That I must be doing better than I am currently. That because I am experiencing these challenges something is wrong with me. Which is compounding the intensity, anxiety, and the problem itself.
When I was sharing this with a friend she recommended a book, Adult Children of Alcoholics Fellowship Text. The book opens with the Laundry List. After reading the Laundry List I realized that the anxiety and pain I had been feeling was not my own. The pattern and voice in my head that was telling me I was a failure was not my own reality, but a story I was telling and a pattern I had learned. Recognizing this for the first time helped me understand the meaning of the words generational trauma.
We discuss:
- [02:31] The book, Adult Children of Alcoholics Fellowship Text asserts that as we grow up there are certain behaviors or patterns that develop to adapt to a dysfunctional environment.
- [03:53] The book opens up with the Laundry List of 14 characteristics of adult children of alcoholics.
- [06:26] Reading the Laundry List for the first time really impacted Kyle. He had the realization that the pain and anxiety that he had been feeling wasn’t his own. The pattern and voice in my head that was telling me I was a failure was not my own reality, but a story I was telling and a pattern I had learned. Recognizing this for the first time helped me understand the meaning of the words generational trauma.
- [07:46] It has taken a long time for humanity to get to where we are now.
- [08:26] With few exceptions over this time, this dysfunction has been invisible.
- [10:54] Our generation has a unique opportunity. Many of us are waking up to these patterns in our lives, doing what we can to take ownership of them, and healing the mental and emotional wounds passed down through generations to us, and breaking these patterns.
- [11:45] Throughout history humanity has been asleep at the wheel when it comes to this generational trauma. More and more I see our generation waking up and starting to change course.
- [12:02] One of the first steps of changing the course is really being able to forgive those that came before us.
- [12:48] The best thing you can do is start taking ownership of yourself and start to change this story.
- [14:08] Very few of us get through childhood without picking up at least one or two of these patterns from the Laundry List. Simply reading that list and recognizing that these patterns are present in your life is a huge and liberating leap forward.
- [14:26] After you begin to recognize and identify some of these stories, seek help in a way that suits you. A common way is to seek a therapist or coach.
- [15:26] One of the very best programs Kyle has gone through that has given him the tools to rewrite these stories in his own life and those that he works with have been Mark England’s Enlifted course.
- [16:15] This is your moment and your responsibility. Thousands of years of your ancestors have to lead to this moment and opportunity for you. It starts with you!
- [16:45] While the challenges and problems we face in the world may seem insurmountable, we have the capacity within us to solve all these challenges we are facing as a society, species, and planet. By recognizing these patterns in ourselves and doing the work that we can change them and create and empower ourselves and those that come alongside us and after us.
- [17:35] That is the gift of our generation. We are the first to wake up to this and to have this choice on a grand scale.